Friday 24 February 2012

Hurt.


Everyone has been hurt by someone at some point. Be it a friend, a loved one, or even a stranger.  Regardless of who it is, it doesn’t hurt any less and that’s because matters of the heart are always the hardest to deal with and it takes the longest to heal. 


In a romantic relationship, there are often feelings of hurt. We expect certain things from our partner, and most times when they do not live up to it we feel a sense of betrayal. However, if we think about it logically, we will find that our partner was not aware of those expectations we had for them. In our minds we have this idea of how a perfect lover should be, but in reality there is no perfect love.

Image source: relationshipsaga.com

Most times in love we seek perfection in our partners because we think it’s what would make us happy, but we’re looking at it the wrong way. The way in which we should look at this is, if someone has the power to hurt you, you should know where you stand. If they’re not making time for you or making the effort to change their ways then let go of them. You’re worth more than that anyway.   





Once someone you love has hurt you, they usually do not know the deep extent to which they have done so, and they carry on with their lives per normal. Where is the fairness in that? While you are bawling your eyes out, they are in complete oblivion to what is going. Sometimes saying sorry just isn’t enough.


At the end of the day we all make our own decisions. We must decide whether we’re going to let the hurt continue and allow it to consume us. Or we can love ourselves enough to let go.





Thursday 23 February 2012

If I were the boss?



Being the boss is a great, because you get to kick back and boss people around all day telling them what they must and must not do. Who wouldn’t want that kind of power over someone else? Be it at work, home or at school; being the boss always has its guilty pleasures.
Think of it this way, if you could boss around everyone in your life, wouldn’t you take utter advantage of them and be completely shameless about it? Wouldn’t you tell them to do things for you out of pure laziness (Or rather lack of dignity)? I sure as hell would.


I’ve been working since the age of 16, so I’ve had my fair share of experiences with all kinds of bosses. This is how I like to characterize them:
The Morbid- This would be your typical boss who finds it hard to put a smile on his dial.                                        The Monster- The one that screams at you for no reason and who makes coming to work a nightmare.
The Merry- This is the type that you wonder about what’s going on in his life that he’s THAT happy.
The Malicious- The one who beats you to your knees with a smile.


If I were the boss at my future work place, I’d be an example to my employees. I would show them the respect and appreciation that is owed to them. I would also treat them as I would my friend, but at the same time demand their respect.
If I were the boss at home, I would still go about doing chores in effort to be the example for my family.


Ultimately, being the boss should not be about abusing power, it should really be about how you use that power to do good in the world. A boss should be there to guide and support you, not put you down to blow up their ego. If you are a boss, always remember that success does not come from pushing people around but rather from understanding and guidance.





Friday 17 February 2012

My name is Kouthar, and I am a Foodie.


There is nothing more appetizing than the aroma of a bakery, or when you get that mouth watering smell of garlic potatoes and pasta in a restaurant.  For me, anything deep fried will do and obviously LOTS of cheese should be involved.


Whenever I go anywhere, I always make sure that my portion of food is the biggest and most carb-filled meal on the menu. I can honestly say that I am so focused on eating, that I am most times oblivious to my surroundings. The way a real ‘foodie’ should be.  Everyone knows me as “The girl who loves to eat”.

When it comes to food, I love everything. My taste buds are open to almost any kind of food. Italian, Indian, Asian, Malaysian, you name it. My satisfying relationship with food came on a while back already, and it’s seen me through my best and also my worst.

While being a foodie, I am also very aware of my health and where I could land up if I ate badly so I've learnt how to always make the best choices for me. Not necessarily healthy choices, but if something's drenched in oil- how good can it actually be? Healthy food is great, not only because it's good for your body, but for your mind as well. My belief is that if you eat better, you live better. And by better, I do not mean eat less. 



Most of us tend to 'eat with our eyes', we are so greedy to have of everything, that we don't realise it's more than we can swallow. I've learnt that you can eat anything but it in moderation and have since, tamed my relationship with food. It's not the easiest thing to do but I'm getting there.




Two people come out of a building and into a story.

I think that as girls, most of us have created a scenario in our minds where we meet our handsome prince charming somewhere out of the ordinary. When I was younger, my scenario was meeting an Italian man and have him sweep me off South African soil and fly me to Italy where we'd live happily ever after. Swoon.

On a more realistic note, what are the chances of anything remotely similar happening to us? Sure it happens in movies all the time, but what are the actual odds of two normal people coming out of a building and into a story, only to find themselves married a few years down the line? 



I’d like to believe that it’s the most possible thing in the world. I believe that it’s possible to find your soul mate in a coffee shop, and that he without a doubt would be Italian. I believe that the girl next door can become a princess. I also believe that there is someone perfect out there for everyone. It’s just up to them to find their way.  


If I could hope for anything, it would be that I never stop being this naive when it comes to love and fate because it’s what keeps me going when life gets a bit rough. People come and go out our lives daily, and it’s up to us to take a closer look and maybe realize that what we’ve been searching for all our lives was indeed right in front of us all along.



How hard is it to follow instructions?

Instructions are generally hard to follow for the average person. Conversing and doing things are simple, but once an instruction is attached to it, it’s like most brains switch off. My guess is that people don't really like being told what to do, or it could be that people strive to do the exact opposite of what they’re told- just because they can! If you sit for a minute and really think about it, you’ll find that it is indeed a real challenge to follow an instruction and carry it out successfully. 



From a young age we are told what to do by our parents, teachers and friends. So in our mind, being told what to do is more of a demand than an instruction and this in some way makes us feel that we have no choice in the matter. Ever heard of the term “rebel”? It is human instinct, or should I say the norm these days for people to go against whatever they’re told to do- mainly because, where’s the fun in being bossed around?





If you deem yourself to be one of those average folk, have a look at the list below, for tips on how to follow instructions and have it successfully executed:


1.    Listen. Listen. Listen. Enough said.
2.    Write everything down. There’s no point in attempting to follow an instruction if you forget half of it.
3.    Absorb it. Take in what’s said and decide on what needs to be done.
4.    Stop being a know-it-all. We all know where our ego gets us, yes, nowhere.
5.    If your attitude stinks, give it a wash. With a different attitude and outlook you will realize that you’re not being bossed around (unless it is indeed your boss… or your mother).
6.     Take action.
7.    Assess whether you have followed the instructions correctly, and if not- try again.

If you have followed the above advice and have however still failed, then it is time to face facts. Good luck though. 









Monday 13 February 2012

We are all beautiful.


You know that very depressing moment when you see yourself in photographs and think WHAT THE !*%#?
Or when your mum tells you that you need to start buying your clothing a size (or two!) bigger, and especially when someone who you haven't seen in a while comments on how much weight you've put on or about how nice and round your butt has gotten since they last saw you.
I hate that! I hate that we never come to this realisation on our own and that someone always has to point it out.
Now I had one of those life-defining moments where I stepped onto the scale recently and realised that I am 13 kilos more than what I was 4 years ago. Might sound normal and acceptable, but not when you've just turned 21 and the world is your oyster. Weight should be the last thing you have to worry about at this age.
But yes, I've had that realisation and thought to myself- what now?
What do I do about it?


So I naturally began discussing my 'weight issues' with friends, family and even strangers (which I’m sure was very annoying to all of them) and at breakfast in a nice hotel one morning, amidst my usual complaints, A friend and I decided to point out who we thought was big, curvaceous, acceptable, hot. Naturally we got into a friendly disagreement about how 'this' one's SO not fat and how 'that' one is totally 'acceptable'.


It was all in good spirit but then came the serious stuff. I was given good advice that day. All I did was complain about my weight and about how fat I looked. It was annoying to everyone around me including my friend so she just told me, "Look, if you think that there is a problem with your weight then fix it. There’s no point in complaining or asking anyone’s opinion because you already made your mind up about yourself.


What she said was so simple but yet, deafening to my ears. I was always obsessing about losing weight and so fixed on comparing myself to what I saw around me, that I made myself unhappy.
It’s so easy to complain about things that are so trivial and shallow; we’re all guilty of it. But sometimes we just need to stop and realize that we’re blessed more than we know. Everyone is beautiful in every way. We just need to find that inner peace, accept who we are and love ourselves like we love one another.